When do you find out you are strong?

I would have never found out....unless what happened last year hadn't happened. What we lost is big and is probably never going to back again. But, life goes on...and made me realize how much more prepared i am to face hard times now. Most problems don't seem so big now. They all pass :)

Not sure, why i choose to mention it a year later. I guess its important i mention it somewhere without going into the details.

I am round the corner

And i plan to start blogging again! Tra la la la :-D
Better than that is i will get to read all your awesome blogs. I am so looking forward to it all again.

See you all in a few days.

What do you do, my lovely?

So, today someone asked me - what do you do when you get back home from work? I was like...huh!! what do i do? hmmm...donno...nothing...something! Gosh! never really thought about that! 
The girl who asked me was quite surprised at how wasted I was!!

Now, what does everybody/anybody do at home back from work?
When I get back I dump my stuff on the sofa, change clothes, switch on my lappie/TV and get back to mails, left over work, social networking, blogs, TV shows, news, etc. And, of course keep calling (read pestering) T to check when he gets back...and this goes on till T is back and we feel hungry. And, then I make myself really really super useful :) I heat the food that the cook made and I serve us :) That done, we both are back to our lappies, reading, watching, and yapping each other, till its time for us to go to bed... EOD...yaaawwwnnn


But, we don't really get bored. We talk, pull each other's leg, watch movies/shows, argue, have fun...but it seems one should be doing 'something' man! hmm...


I mean what do you guys do when you get back from work? Some people sound really busy and caught up and happening at home! Im curious to know what it is that people really do at home..except relax, eat, and sleep!!!

My sins against gender stereotypes

Masood tagged me here and i need to list my sins against gender stereotypes. 

1) My favorite color is black/blue/red. Not pink. Please spare me pink. I do not like that color. Not for dresses, not for shirts, not for dupattas, not for my bedcovers, not for my curtains...nothing. Period.
2) My favorite games, which I have played a lot are rugby and baseball.

3) My favorite shows are Gadget Guru, Auto Show, Cell Guru, Tech Toyz, We the People, CSI, Seinfeld, Friends, Man vs Wild.  But, yes I must admit I love sex and the city and can watch it forever...and i can chew all of you who mock at sex and the city!

4) The RSS subscriptions on my phone & favourites on my laptop are engadget, mashable, digital inspiration, gizmodo, discovery and  news channels. I read and research on new tech stuff a lot and pass on the gyaan to hubby and friends/family when they need help buying/researching. But to keep the so called girlie spirit alive, I have a Cosmopolitan susbcription too. More than fashion, they have articles that I find so bloody hilarious :-p

5) I research and make all my investements myself in stocks/funds/real estate for the last several years.

6) Im not very fond of dressing up and putting on elaborate makeup. I have no nail polish on my nails ever and my makeup is limited to a kajal and gloss for most occasion. I've always watched in awe at the girls who spend hours on selecting and wearing those shiny clothes and putting on heavy makeup. I mean they look nice and all, but somehow I couldn't manage all that so well. Ive tried few times on my mom's /friends insistence, but have failed gladly :)

7) I can live and die in my jeans. Mom gave me 4-5 suitcases full of expensive sarees/suits for my big fat wedding, which are even now lying wrapped in the packing they came in. Haven't opened those 61 dresses in the last 4 years! With the lakhs mom spent on those clothes, I could have bought a bigger macbook than my present 13 inch or a new LED TV :(

8) My trips to the parlor are limited to 2-3 in a whole year that too when im dragged by friends/family. Just don't have the bloody patience to sit for a facial/manicure/pedicure for 3-4 hours...grrrr...boringgg...I could have chatted with T or played with my phone a bit more in that time! Android has such awesome apps for their phones :-D

9) When T and I go out together, I always end up driving, he just sits next to me like a showpiece checking mail on his blackberry, changing music, humming and generally trying to be a stud!! Men! i tell you....grrr
10) I love fixing and figuring out things. Just crash the comp or give me stuff to install or configure machines/TVs, etc...i will be lost in that for hours.
11)Im very frank/outspoken and have never really shied away from voicing my opinions and thoughts, taking my own decisions, whether somebody likes it or not. Neighbors/family would always say I am my dad's son! Dad/mom consult me/discuss things with me before they take big decisions. My brother lives with them, but my folks still discuss things with me when and where it matters for my opinion.

12) Ok, this one is funny. I eat more than many guys...Lolll...No, seriously guys in office/other friends have told me: "Maria, you have quite an appetite." In the office canteen when I order my food, the guys standing in the queue find it very amusing...sandwich, chapati/rice sabzi,/chicken, dal, juice, sometimes sweet dish/ice cream! A few days back i was out with hubby and another guy for dinner and these 2 men had finished their main course and i was just about getting done with my tandoori prawns, salad, an soup...main course still far away! Can you imagine how much they teased me! Just FYI im not obese yet- in kgs...late 50s, but getting heavy on the scale every month :-(

13) Ok, final one, I dont know how to cook. I try off and on...sometimes its yum, other times not so great! But, I really do miss my mom's cooking and want to learn some of her recipies. Ive already started my recipe book, so probably this point should soon fall out of this list :)


After all these, I hope ive not been ticked off the list of women. I do love being a woman. I do love shopping endlessly for clothes and shoes and bags. I do love gossiping with my girl friends ,the outings with girls, those giggling sessions and late night chat with dosts and cousins. And of course i love diamonds :)

Now, if you like the tag, please take it up and let me know, so I can hop over and read your sins.

One Bedroom Apartment

I found this in my mail today morning, and thought it was worth sharing. Food for thought for all of us in this mad materialistic cut throat world. When you have  a few minutes...

A Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in

Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the

land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it

was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I

would be staying in this country for about 5 years in which

time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement,

the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom apt.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling

homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and

speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone

cards. Two years passed, two years of fast food at McDonald's and

pizzas and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting 
happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have

only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within

these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.

Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for

all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be

talks.

After reaching home I spent home one week going through

all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting

shorter I was forced to select one candidate and get 
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays.

After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some

money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after

them, we returned to USA..

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she

started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased 
to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. 
Our savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, 
a boy and a girl. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked

me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India... But part work part

monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting

India was a distant dream. 

Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents
were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any
holidays and thus could not go to India ...
The next message I got was my parents had
passed away and as there was no one to do t
he last rights the society members had done
whatever they could.
I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's

dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down.

I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my

savings were short and the property prices had gone up during

all these years. I had to return to the USA...

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to

stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after

promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an

American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that

had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India... I

had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom APT in a

well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the APT is

for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife

has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes...

I wonder was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India,

Had a house to his name and I too have

the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.

This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these

children are losing their values and culture because of it. I

get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well

at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will

be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question

still remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS ....DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE

START LIVING IT .........

LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE .......

If we didn't make money, would we still be valued? -Updated

A very bright, well qualified and experienced colleague quit her job and while leaving she said, "I hope my husband supports me in every way and takes care of me". Her words really rang a bell and all of us women were suddenly plagued by that thought. What if we quit our job and made no money, will we still lead the life we lead now? Will the quality of our lifestyle suffer? Will we be treated any differently or looked at in a different way?As women these are important thoughts/fears for us...and of course none of us girls had any definite answers!


Thanks to our good education, we have cushy jobs and make good money. We can buy almost anything within our reach and catches our fancy. Most of us do not depend on our husbands to finance our needs. We are independent women, taking several decisions. We are equal providers and care takers in the house and family. Today working women are on an equal footing in terms of finance with the husbands...But what if tomorrow the equation gets lop sided?


Today, I pay hefty EMIs for the house and my car. I buy new clothes, shoes, bags, cosmetics whenever I want to. I make my own investments. I buy my own tickets to fly back to my mom's place as and when I wish to. I can buy expensive gifts for my husband on special occasions. I can help my family if the need arise. Basically, the possibilities that come with financial freedom are many and to think if all this came to end one day, where would that leave us?


Would our husbands feel the pinch and crib about it? Will they start shouldering all the responsibilities that we earlier shared? Would they happily take over our EMIs? Would we still be able to shop and will all our needs be taken care of happily? Will we still get the same security, love, and affection without any nagging and arguing? Above all, will we be respected and valued as partners. Again, the questions are many and most of us just wonder what it would be like to be on the other side and how we would make that transition.


I believe that a good education, career, and financial freedom should be prime for all women. Believe me, marriage and family can wait! There are too many sad stories out there where women are mistreated by husbands and in laws and such women have nothing to fall back on and often end up at the mercy of the husband and his family. (TBG shared some real life stories of women who are going through very difficult times- 1 and 2).

Girls, all of us need jobs and need to be financially independent and save for any calamity. Life is unpredictable and the best placed people can face severe odds. We all need to be respected and valued for who we are. Sadly, money has become the most important factor based on which society values and gives importance to people. But, so be it...we have to beat the system and come out with our heads held high up!

What is the national language of India?

GK question: What is the national language of India?

Cmon, you know this one...every kid knows it. 

So, what is it? Did you just say Hindi?

  

You are so wrong my darlings. In fact, India has no national language. Neither the Constitution of India nor the Indian law specifies a National language.The constitution merely states that Hindi is the official language along with English. See - http://india.gov.in/knowindia/official_language.php and http://india.gov.in/outerwin.php?id=http://www.rajbhasha.gov.in.

Surprised? me too! I've always accorded the national language status to Hindi. Dam! how come I didn't know this!

I think for most of us, especially the North Indians, Hindi is the Rashtrabhasha..and we don't care and accept any other argument contrary to this! I don't know who put this in my mind, but, i think its our schooling system, where we learn that Hindi is our national language and after that we have regional languages...but Hindi is what every Indian should know. Books too mention the same. I bet many school teachers also live in the belief that Hindi is the national language. 

I've had the language debate with many people several times, especially with my husband - T, who is a kannadiga. I've always argued and wanted to know why people in the south of the country are so uptight about using Hindi...after all its our national language and they mighty well know it...and even when they know it, they ignore when somebody talks in Hindi! And now, after so many years, I get to know, that we don't have a national language at all! And the majority Hindi speaking class wants to force it on everybody. No wonder we have people like Raj Thackeray and the anti hindi mentality/protestors in South India rearing their head and fighting for their space.

But, all said and done, inspite of all the diversity, I  do think we should have a national language. Something common that should have been similar all over the country. Language is to aid communication, so a common language that would be spoken and understood from Kashmir to Kanyakumari. Today when I go to Chennai, i have problems communicating and asking for simple things like directions/negotiating with a rick guy. There is just too much non cooperation when I speak Hindi. Although, English seems fine to some of them!

Hmmm, but then another thought...the national sport is Hockey...no IPL for it, the national bird is the peacock...nobody cares for that, the national animal is the Tiger...only 1411 left, the national song, Vande Mataram...hardly unites people today! So, maybe branding something national really doesnt help! What say you?

Guilt vs innocence - tag from Chanz

Got this tag from Chanz. I've been tagged a few times before, but never really got down to doing them. This one looks simple and fun...so my first go :)

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.


Asked someone to marry you? Guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty

Held a snake? Innocent

Been suspended from school? Guilty

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Innocent

Done something you regret? Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Guilty

Sat on a roof top? Guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty

Sang in the shower? Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

Shaved your head? Innocent

Had a boxing membership? Innocent

Made a boyfriend cry? Guilty

Been in a band? Innocent

Shot a gun? Innocent

Donated Blood? Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Innocent

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty

Joined a pageant? Innocent

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

Had communication with your ex? Innocent

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty


This was fun, simple and really fast. Felt like some type of Karan Johar show ;-D

Folks, take up the tag if you would like to. Consider yourself tagged :)

The unique desi gene

The Indian gene is unique, colorful, loving, and spirited. Our common traits bring us together and help us identify with each other. We can spot a desi in any corner of the world, thanks to our unique traits and some things like these -

The IST (Indian Standard Time) - Seen any self respecting Indian come at the time printed on the card? What a looser, if you do! Also, this is how Chief Guests feel important. Reaching time pe is such a waste man! and tongues will be wagging - kuch kaam nahi hai kya isko? So, for your own izzat please at least a 2 hour delay will keep you in high esteem and your precious izzat and pride intact.


Overtaking from the wrong side on the road hurling some maa behen expletives - Oh! cmon road hai yaar! I pay tax and i will drive left, right, center, obtuse angle, whatever...depends on my frame of mind and the music/beats playing in my car...i need to match that too na boss! And for you - bach sako to bacho..hum toh aise hain bhaiya!

Spitting and peeing on/by the roadside - I mean what do you expect? Bladder was bursting! Let it burst and kill myself, huh? Of course I let the Ganga flow...and all those stupid anti peeing slogans on the dividers are not gonna stop me, you stupid pseudo intellectuals! And, why bother about spitting...im not spoiling your new dress madam! The pan i had was very bad! Huh! get out of my way, else...!

Belching and picking nose in public - Now, c'mon belching se ki farak painda hai? Hain?? Its the body saying had a good meal, thank you! You cant stop nature, can you? If no belching, then farting...so better belch...ab farting and belching both not allowed - i will by god ki kasam explode!
And haan picking nose and plastering that on the wall is bad, very bad! Primary school teachers said so...ab its been so long...forgot na..sorry madam! Next year se will make a resolution not to do...abhi sab changa?


Licking your fingers - Another tell tale sign that i had yummy kukkad and dal makhni. Appreciate kar rahe hain ji. Being a chatora is a joy in itself. Ok, all of us indulge in this :) lets leave this one here :)


Fighting for 2 bucks with the veggie vendor is our birth right - Oye! ki keh rahe ho? Those 2 bucks are gonna get me my next diamond ring for god sake! And i want that free dhania patti too! Boond boond se hi sagar banta hai...samjhe khote de puttar!

Counting the jewelery pieces on the bride - Arey! for what did we come to shaadi for? Ab itna toh size up karna hi padega na. Next week kitty party, I have to give an update also! And what if Gupta jee is not giving his daughter, Pinky 10 kgs of gold! haww! This is so shameful! Community mein kya muh dikhayenge? Izzat ka toh faluda ban jayega na!


Being a nosy parker - again a birth right - Beti, aajkal bahut late night you come back home, boy friends shoy friends..hain (wink wink). And aajkal many friends are coming home? kuch/koi khaas? batao batao (nudge nudge). Ab poochna and taking care toh neighbors ka right hai na. And, ye dress na thodi si revealing hai puttar, shawl le le..hain na?


Flaunting brands - Its from Tommy dude! And the watch from Tag! My last trip to NY man! Holy Shit! watch your step! you're stepping on my manolos us ass! Oooohhh aaaahhhh the lace and clips too are branded...don't even get near me you loosers, my body has been rented by the brands! I am the brand diva, bow down.


Ok, now i realise this list can go on and on. We are such interesting people, nobody gets near us :)
I saw this nice video on being an Indian. Check it out, you'll like it.

Begaani shaadi mein abdullah deewana

The shaadi of the season - Sania Mirza

This seems to be the hottest and most controversial topic in the last few days. I fail to understand why. Kisi ki shaadi and hum sab ki pareshani! Completely baffles me...anyway read on.

Shiv Sena says they have major objections to this marriage (Me: yea? why? who are you? Are we supposed to bother about what you think? This moral brigade should anyway be banned! They terrorize me no end)


A Hyderabad MP says he is not going to allow this marriage and will not give the Hyderabad ki beti to Pakistan (Me: Who do you think you are? Do you know this is a free country? Are we even supposed to ask you before we go to pee)


News Channels are busy gossiping about Sania's and Shoaib's past! (Me: Are you guys even serious about journalism? Do you even know what it is? Let the poor girl marry or not marry whoever! Get a life and stop repeating Sania ki 5 sautaney wala program)

Read some of these comments posted on message boards:

Marriage to a Paki means betraying INDIA. (Me: And marrying an American, a Brit, and Australian? What does nationality have to do with love? My friend, when it comes to love, it does not see religion, region, country, skin color, language...And why should anybody give up their love or well thought out life for your whims and fancies?)
 
She is marrying a person from a terrorist land. There are so many Muslims in India too, she could have chosen them. (Me: Why only Indian Muslim? She could have married anybody? It is her choice! This is a free country and does not work on your fancies and morals.)

Sania, why the hell you have to marry that Paki Punjabi Langoor? I am sure there are enough qualified Indian young man suitable for you. (Me: Well she likes Langoor...you have a problem with that? and what do you do? Run a marriage bureau?)

Indians should realize these type of Muslims are agents for Pakistan. Many muslims like Sania mirza family are having soft corner for pak. (Me: Muslims are as Indian as you or anybody else in this country. They are not going to prove their love and loyalty for the country to you! And marrying somebody does not mean you have a soft corner for his/her country/region/caste/religion..whatever. And by the way, whose agent are you?)

If an educated Muslim girl from India is ready to go into the arms of a Pakistani...it shows that she loves her religion...and does not care about India. It is a huge security risk for India.We can imagine the mind set of millions of uneducated Muslims in India. (Me: 1. She isn't going into the arms of Pakistan..only Shoaib's...why is your ass burning? 2. There is nothing wrong in loving ones religion. We are a secular country ! 3. Thank god, such useless people like you are not defining/guiding Indian security. 4. And since Education is a fundamental right from today - Its the right time you get yourself some education!)


I am really surprised at this kind of sentiment and mentality. I mean we are a free secular country. Why is there such an uproar. Is there a law that says an Indian cannot marry a national of a country with which India doesn't have good political relations with? I just dont get it? What if Shoaib Malik was an Australian, American, Chinese, XYZ?  Who she marries, this guy or another, or doesn't marry at all or divorces 5 times...it is her business and life. Who cares man!
 

I am concerned about the growing strength and influence of the moral brigade in this country. It is impinging on our rights. And more often than not women are in their shooting range! Today it is Sania, tomorrow it will be you and me who will be questioned on our moves and every decision. 

Who we marry, love, live with or what we wear is only our business! Meri marzi, meri life....will do what i have to and want to! Go jump in a well if you don't like it!