Tuesday, April 20, 2010

What is the national language of India?

GK question: What is the national language of India?
Cmon, you know this one...every kid knows it. 
So, what is it? Did you just say Hindi?
You are so wrong my darlings. In fact, India has no national language. Neither the Constitution of India nor the Indian law specifies a National language.The constitution merely states that Hindi is the official language along with English. See - http://india.gov.in/knowindia/official_language.php and http://india.gov.in/outerwin.php?id=http://www.rajbhasha.gov.in.
Surprised? me too! I've always accorded the national language status to Hindi. Dam! how come I didn't know this!

I think for most of us, especially the North Indians, Hindi is the Rashtrabhasha..and we don't care and accept any other argument contrary to this! I don't know who put this in my mind, but, i think its our schooling system, where we learn that Hindi is our national language and after that we have regional languages...but Hindi is what every Indian should know. Books too mention the same. I bet many school teachers also live in the belief that Hindi is the national language. 

I've had the language debate with many people several times, especially with my husband - T, who is a kannadiga. I've always argued and wanted to know why people in the south of the country are so uptight about using Hindi...after all its our national language and they mighty well know it...and even when they know it, they ignore when somebody talks in Hindi! And now, after so many years, I get to know, that we don't have a national language at all! And the majority Hindi speaking class wants to force it on everybody. No wonder we have people like Raj Thackeray and the anti hindi mentality/protestors in South India rearing their head and fighting for their space.

But, all said and done, inspite of all the diversity, I  do think we should have a national language. Something common that should have been similar all over the country. Language is to aid communication, so a common language that would be spoken and understood from Kashmir to Kanyakumari. Today when I go to Chennai, i have problems communicating and asking for simple things like directions/negotiating with a rick guy. There is just too much non cooperation when I speak Hindi. Although, English seems fine to some of them!

Hmmm, but then another thought...the national sport is Hockey...no IPL for it, the national bird is the peacock...nobody cares for that, the national animal is the Tiger...only 1411 left, the national song, Vande Mataram...hardly unites people today! So, maybe branding something national really doesnt help! What say you?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Guilt vs innocence - tag from Chanz

Got this tag from Chanz. I've been tagged a few times before, but never really got down to doing them. This one looks simple and fun...so my first go :)

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

Asked someone to marry you? Guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty

Held a snake? Innocent

Been suspended from school? Guilty

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Innocent

Done something you regret? Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Guilty

Sat on a roof top? Guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty

Sang in the shower? Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

Shaved your head? Innocent

Had a boxing membership? Innocent

Made a boyfriend cry? Guilty

Been in a band? Innocent

Shot a gun? Innocent

Donated Blood? Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Innocent

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty

Joined a pageant? Innocent

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

Had communication with your ex? Innocent

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty

This was fun, simple and really fast. Felt like some type of Karan Johar show ;-D

Folks, take up the tag if you would like to. Consider yourself tagged :)

Friday, April 9, 2010

The unique desi gene

The Indian gene is unique, colorful, loving, and spirited. Our common traits bring us together and help us identify with each other. We can spot a desi in any corner of the world, thanks to our unique traits and some things like these -

The IST (Indian Standard Time) - Seen any self respecting Indian come at the time printed on the card? What a looser, if you do! Also, this is how Chief Guests feel important. Reaching time pe is such a waste man! and tongues will be wagging - kuch kaam nahi hai kya isko? So, for your own izzat please at least a 2 hour delay will keep you in high esteem and your precious izzat and pride intact.

Overtaking from the wrong side on the road hurling some maa behen expletives - Oh! cmon road hai yaar! I pay tax and i will drive left, right, center, obtuse angle, whatever...depends on my frame of mind and the music/beats playing in my car...i need to match that too na boss! And for you - bach sako to bacho..hum toh aise hain bhaiya!

Spitting and peeing on/by the roadside - I mean what do you expect? Bladder was bursting! Let it burst and kill myself, huh? Of course I let the Ganga flow...and all those stupid anti peeing slogans on the dividers are not gonna stop me, you stupid pseudo intellectuals! And, why bother about spitting...im not spoiling your new dress madam! The pan i had was very bad! Huh! get out of my way, else...!

Belching and picking nose in public - Now, c'mon belching se ki farak painda hai? Hain?? Its the body saying had a good meal, thank you! You cant stop nature, can you? If no belching, then farting...so better belch...ab farting and belching both not allowed - i will by god ki kasam explode!
And haan picking nose and plastering that on the wall is bad, very bad! Primary school teachers said so...ab its been so long...forgot na..sorry madam! Next year se will make a resolution not to do...abhi sab changa?

Licking your fingers - Another tell tale sign that i had yummy kukkad and dal makhni. Appreciate kar rahe hain ji. Being a chatora is a joy in itself. Ok, all of us indulge in this :) lets leave this one here :)

Fighting for 2 bucks with the veggie vendor is our birth right - Oye! ki keh rahe ho? Those 2 bucks are gonna get me my next diamond ring for god sake! And i want that free dhania patti too! Boond boond se hi sagar banta hai...samjhe khote de puttar!

Counting the jewelery pieces on the bride - Arey! for what did we come to shaadi for? Ab itna toh size up karna hi padega na. Next week kitty party, I have to give an update also! And what if Gupta jee is not giving his daughter, Pinky 10 kgs of gold! haww! This is so shameful! Community mein kya muh dikhayenge? Izzat ka toh faluda ban jayega na!

Being a nosy parker - again a birth right - Beti, aajkal bahut late night you come back home, boy friends shoy friends..hain (wink wink). And aajkal many friends are coming home? kuch/koi khaas? batao batao (nudge nudge). Ab poochna and taking care toh neighbors ka right hai na. And, ye dress na thodi si revealing hai puttar, shawl le le..hain na?

Flaunting brands - Its from Tommy dude! And the watch from Tag! My last trip to NY man! Holy Shit! watch your step! you're stepping on my manolos us ass! Oooohhh aaaahhhh the lace and clips too are branded...don't even get near me you loosers, my body has been rented by the brands! I am the brand diva, bow down.

Ok, now i realise this list can go on and on. We are such interesting people, nobody gets near us :)
I saw this nice video on being an Indian. Check it out, you'll like it.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Begaani shaadi mein abdullah deewana

The shaadi of the season - Sania Mirza
This seems to be the hottest and most controversial topic in the last few days. I fail to understand why. Kisi ki shaadi and hum sab ki pareshani! Completely baffles me...anyway read on.

Shiv Sena says they have major objections to this marriage (Me: yea? why? who are you? Are we supposed to bother about what you think? This moral brigade should anyway be banned! They terrorize me no end)

A Hyderabad MP says he is not going to allow this marriage and will not give the Hyderabad ki beti to Pakistan (Me: Who do you think you are? Do you know this is a free country? Are we even supposed to ask you before we go to pee)

News Channels are busy gossiping about Sania's and Shoaib's past! (Me: Are you guys even serious about journalism? Do you even know what it is? Let the poor girl marry or not marry whoever! Get a life and stop repeating Sania ki 5 sautaney wala program)

Read some of these comments posted on message boards:

Marriage to a Paki means betraying INDIA. (Me: And marrying an American, a Brit, and Australian? What does nationality have to do with love? My friend, when it comes to love, it does not see religion, region, country, skin color, language...And why should anybody give up their love or well thought out life for your whims and fancies?)
She is marrying a person from a terrorist land. There are so many Muslims in India too, she could have chosen them. (Me: Why only Indian Muslim? She could have married anybody? It is her choice! This is a free country and does not work on your fancies and morals.)

Sania, why the hell you have to marry that Paki Punjabi Langoor? I am sure there are enough qualified Indian young man suitable for you. (Me: Well she likes Langoor...you have a problem with that?
and what do you do? Run a marriage bureau?)

Indians should realize these type of Muslims are agents for Pakistan. Many muslims like Sania mirza family are having soft corner for pak. (Me: Muslims are as Indian as you or anybody else in this country. They are not going to prove their love and loyalty for the country to you! And marrying somebody does not mean you have a soft corner for his/her country/region/caste/religion..whatever. And by the way, whose agent are you?)

If an educated Muslim girl from India is ready to go into the arms of a Pakistani...it shows that she loves her religion...and does not care about India. It is a huge security risk for India.We can imagine the mind set of millions of uneducated Muslims in India. (Me: 1. She isn't going into the arms of Pakistan..only Shoaib's...why is your ass burning? 2. There is nothing wrong in loving ones religion. We are a secular country ! 3. Thank god, such useless people like you are not defining/guiding Indian security. 4. And since Education is a fundamental right from today - Its the right time you get yourself some education!)

I am really surprised at this kind of sentiment and mentality. I mean we are a free secular country. Why is there such an uproar. Is there a law that says an Indian cannot marry a national of a country with which India doesn't have good political relations with? I just dont get it? What if Shoaib Malik was an Australian, American, Chinese, XYZ?  Who she marries, this guy or another, or doesn't marry at all or divorces 5 times...it is her business and life. Who cares man!

I am concerned about the growing strength and influence of the moral brigade in this country. It is impinging on our rights. And more often than not women are in their shooting range! Today it is Sania, tomorrow it will be you and me who will be questioned on our moves and every decision. 

Who we marry, love, live with or what we wear is only our business! Meri marzi, meri life....will do what i have to and want to! Go jump in a well if you don't like it!