The IST (Indian Standard Time) - Seen any self respecting Indian come at the time printed on the card? What a looser, if you do! Also, this is how Chief Guests feel important. Reaching time pe is such a waste man! and tongues will be wagging - kuch kaam nahi hai kya isko? So, for your own izzat please at least a 2 hour delay will keep you in high esteem and your precious izzat and pride intact.
Overtaking from the wrong side on the road hurling some maa behen expletives - Oh! cmon road hai yaar! I pay tax and i will drive left, right, center, obtuse angle, whatever...depends on my frame of mind and the music/beats playing in my car...i need to match that too na boss! And for you - bach sako to bacho..hum toh aise hain bhaiya!
Spitting and peeing on/by the roadside - I mean what do you expect? Bladder was bursting! Let it burst and kill myself, huh? Of course I let the Ganga flow...and all those stupid anti peeing slogans on the dividers are not gonna stop me, you stupid pseudo intellectuals! And, why bother about spitting...im not spoiling your new dress madam! The pan i had was very bad! Huh! get out of my way, else...!
Belching and picking nose in public - Now, c'mon belching se ki farak painda hai? Hain?? Its the body saying had a good meal, thank you! You cant stop nature, can you? If no belching, then farting...so better belch...ab farting and belching both not allowed - i will by god ki kasam explode!
And haan picking nose and plastering that on the wall is bad, very bad! Primary school teachers said so...ab its been so long...forgot na..sorry madam! Next year se will make a resolution not to do...abhi sab changa?
Licking your fingers - Another tell tale sign that i had yummy kukkad and dal makhni. Appreciate kar rahe hain ji. Being a chatora is a joy in itself. Ok, all of us indulge in this :) lets leave this one here :)
Fighting for 2 bucks with the veggie vendor is our birth right - Oye! ki keh rahe ho? Those 2 bucks are gonna get me my next diamond ring for god sake! And i want that free dhania patti too! Boond boond se hi sagar banta hai...samjhe khote de puttar!
Counting the jewelery pieces on the bride - Arey! for what did we come to shaadi for? Ab itna toh size up karna hi padega na. Next week kitty party, I have to give an update also! And what if Gupta jee is not giving his daughter, Pinky 10 kgs of gold! haww! This is so shameful! Community mein kya muh dikhayenge? Izzat ka toh faluda ban jayega na!
Being a nosy parker - again a birth right - Beti, aajkal bahut late night you come back home, boy friends shoy friends..hain (wink wink). And aajkal many friends are coming home? kuch/koi khaas? batao batao (nudge nudge). Ab poochna and taking care toh neighbors ka right hai na. And, ye dress na thodi si revealing hai puttar, shawl le le..hain na?
Flaunting brands - Its from Tommy dude! And the watch from Tag! My last trip to NY man! Holy Shit! watch your step! you're stepping on my manolos us ass! Oooohhh aaaahhhh the lace and clips too are branded...don't even get near me you loosers, my body has been rented by the brands! I am the brand diva, bow down.
Ok, now i realise this list can go on and on. We are such interesting people, nobody gets near us :)
I saw this nice video on being an Indian. Check it out, you'll like it.