I'm a big girl...I can change tyres!

Yes, yes, yes! I can change tyres. Thanks to my 2 buddies from work, I finally learnt to do that job (Guys, that lunch i promised is soon coming your way). Im so kicked, not many women know how to do that stuff...im so proud!! I can now picture myself changing a flat tyre next time im stuck on the road. Cool na!
This has to be the single achievement I made in the last many many weeks...im not going anywhere at work, so good for me this came along :)

I had a flat tyre and somehow I just didnt realise and i had been driving around with that flat tyre for the last 2 days! yea, imagine! The security guard at the office parking lot told me, madam aapka do din se tyre phissss hai...and i was like - really!!?? The drivers standing there had a good laugh...they too had been watchign me for the last 2 days...flat tyre wali madam aa gayi!!! Duh! how stupid! I felt like an ass, standing there, staring unbelievably at the flat tyre!! how could I not notice it! I will think mayb tubeless tyres makes life easy. Who knows.

Anyway, P & R from office helped unscrew, fix the jack, put the bolts in place...and all the good stuff...and i followed them carefully and tried my hand at the job. Boy! I hadn't given that much attention to anything...yea Ranbir Kapoor is a different story..that guy is going places i tell you. Ok, thats a different story...forget that bit!

Ok, so im gonna brag about this endlessly with all details to any and every ear that comes in my line of sight! Consider yourself warned friends!

This pic from world war 2 is so cool!

C'mon boys, grow up!

There is this reality show on Star - Perfect Bride, where eligible bachelors along with their moms are on the show choosing the perfect bride for themselves. I just happened to see 2 episodes and what a shame!

We have the mama's boys with their dominating moms who are the ones deciding their bahus and the qualities that their bahu should have...and of course our so eligible hot bachelors are all like - mumma ki pasand meri pasand...mumma ne bola hai toh wahi mera bhi kehna! Gosh! when are our Indian boys gonna grow up! Dude! wake up!! You are the one who has to marry...your moms have had their days. Get yourself a life and a spine to start with! And come to think of it, you must be such loosers that you ended up on a TV show to catch a bride for yourself, all certified and stamped by your moms! Anyway..good luck! (Many of us, specially the men may say- whats wrong with that! I say Ok, nothing...go ahead :)

Now, im so confused, what exactly is the Indian male looking for in a girl today? (well, not all of you out there..but there are quite a few specimens).  I can understand the guys, who are clear in their head- all they want is only a perfect housekeeper to help their moms at home and raise kids. Nothing more...great! good for you and pity the girl, unless of course this is her choice also and this what she wanted.

But, surprisingly a lot of educated young men say they want an educated, professional, independent, beautiful, homely, adjusting, and caring girl! (Did i also hear convent educated?..Duh!) Now, these are the guys who seriously leave me confused, really confused! So, what creature are these guys looking for? Homosapien? Woman? Superwoman? Jadoo? Hmm..escapes me...

At the end of the day this variety of men are looking girls who will listen to their moms and say haanjee mummmyji, raise the kids, look after the home, cook delicious food, adjust with every tom, dick, and harry, and work outside, and be selfless, and give in to him and his family! Dude!! what are you thinking?? Did you ever think, that women might have a mind and a heart of their own and may not give in to you and your families way of life and thoughts and demands? Did you ever think she might not be interested in the kitchen or socialising with your relatives, because she might be too tired after her long day at work? Did you realise she was human like you? Did you ever think you might be killing her dreams and desires by burdening her with your and your families expectations? Did you ever think you are expecting too much?

Today, many of us teach our daughters to be strong, independent, and make their own choices and decisions in life. So, isn't it natural that when she gets married she will want to have her own seperate home with her husband, run it the way she wants to, live life how she has desired to, take small and big decisions for her home? Why do we forget that women might not like to be burdened with expectations, or might not like joint families, which is already disintegrating very fast. Many free thinking women who chart their own lives, set up nuclear households, take their own decisions, sometimes face family issues and criticism. Now, how sad is that. Isn't this opposite of what we taught them- to be independent? Are we not killing their dreams and right to live happily.

All that women are looking for is just a chance to live their lives and dreams in their own way...to live in peace and love and be loved. Let us not forget there is nothing wrong in a woman demanding the right to lead her life the way she wants to and decide what she wants to do. Indian men, its you turn to wake up and smell the coffee. Women are going way ahead and you need to do some catching up. Get real and decide on what you really want. Usually you can get this or that type or some bit of this and some bit of that...but you cant have it all. Looking for a perfect bride, then just leave it to your mom :) but, if little imperfect would do, that might just make your life happier and complete, then go out and find one for yourself. You will not regret it :)

Got this in my email :)

Life lessons from Dadajaan

I lost my granpa a few months ago. He left me with many memories, which will stay with me forever. Of all the things I have learnt from him, these are special and it is important to me that I document them.

1) I learnt that we must touch each others lives in such a way that we are remembered for it.
Dadajaan, always said, - beta do some small thing for us when you come visiting us, so that when you go away we remember you everyday and say - When Maria was here, she used to do this for us. The small jobs he would entrust me would be giving dadijaan her medicines every night, or giving them a glass of water in the night while going to sleep, or just switching off the light when they have gone to bed.
Sometimes I have done these things, other times I have brushed these jobs away...but now I realize how important these small things were and how much they matter. I really did learn it is important to touch lives and leave a mark. I did learn how small things bring people closer to each other, bind us, and how they help us relate to each other and care for each other.

2) I learnt, it is important to call our special ones lovingly.
Granpa was a polite person and always stressed on using a loving salutation. He introduced me to using the word jaan. So he was Dadajaan for me. So, there was dadijaan, nanajaan, and nanijaan too. Their faces would light up with happiness when we would call them that way :) It would be a special moment to see them happy and smile.
I learnt that it makes a world of difference when we call our special people lovingly. These words effortlessly convey such a warm feeling of love and care. I learnt that words bind us all and the words we use grow on us and shape our feelings and us. Kind words evoke a feeling of love and kindness and help us reciprocate in a similar fashion. How important that is today!

3) I learnt that it is important to express oneself.
Every summer when I would visit them, Dadajaan, would say - beta everyday write a bit on what you did and how you felt. He said it was an enriching experience to express ourself and document our life, thoughts, and feelings and revisit them if we wanted to. So, when I would be there I would write a bit each day in my diary. He would read it with a big smile and talk to me about all that i had written. Sometimes, we would laugh, sometimes we would discuss and I would see reason.
Yes, he taught me that it was important to document our life and thoughts in some way. It was important to revisit them sometimes and see how we think and how far we have gone ahead in life. It helps us to stay rooted and see and analyze life in all its shades. This also made me see the importance of leaving behind a real story for the future generation to simple read or learn from. After dadajaan passed away, I read a few of his diaries that has his life documented in such a rich way. It really is a treasure to cherish that tells the story of a man, his life and times.

I think, sometimes, we just do not realize what we have till it is taken away from us. But, I guess as long as we realize and learn its all worthwhile. He taught me some important life lessons effortlessly by telling me simple things. His words were nothing out of the ordinary, but carried a great message for me.
Thank you for everything dadajaan. A bit of you, lives in me.