Saturday, February 13, 2010

The 'ex' syndrome

So, yet again its the big day world over - Valentine's day. Hearts are popping out from anywhere and everywhere. Turn the TV or radio on and you have mushy movies and songs playing. Go to a restaurant and they have a special V day spread. Go to a cafe, and they have special V Day coffee and pigs are flying out from everywhere and being single is almost a crime!

Ok, so we all are surrounded and hounded by the V day posters and the red hearts. So, im not gonna talk about this at all! V day brings me to another topic...yea not V day specific...but for some reason it comes to mind!

Whats with people wanting to be friends with their ex(s). I’ve never really understood this. Whats the logic behind this? Ok, so you broke up with your boy/girlfriend and moved on in yourself another arm candy/ wife/hubby and then you still think of keeping in touch with your ex, befriend them on social networking sites, see their pics,  exchange messages, calls, and meetup.

What do the spouses think of this? Is it something they don't mind or digest with great difficulty or does it wreck them up completely. How many spouses..if any, actually accept this relationship? What would be the thought behind comfortably accepting it..I would like to meet one such person..who has absolutely no problem with their partner being pals with their ex.

Knowing that your man/girl was into a relationship with this person would it be wise or even practical for the spouse to be in touch regularly? Also would it not remind constantly of the good and bad times you have shared with that person. Would that not affect your relationship with your current partner? Wouldn’t it be easier for you to start relying on your ex more easily or falling back on them? Is it like  convenient way to carry on the relationship without any expectations, strings..and the comfort of knowing that the person is still around, while you have another new person.

I know none of my girlfriends would fall for this crap if their husbands had to offer this option. There would be absolute chaos and married lives would turn upside down. Come to think of it, he/she was your boy/girlfriend, you shared a mental, emotion, and physical relationship with him/her and now you share that relationship with your current partner and you think that your current one can accept the old one happily in her /his life?

I am firm believer that your past and present should not be mixed up. What is past is gone and a new life is what you have today. So do not complicate. I have seen some relationships gone sour becasue people tried putting both of them together in one collage. 

Call me judgmental, narrow minded, old fashioned, etc if you may...but its something I cannot understand too well...just my opinion.


  1. I totally agree with you too. Past is past. Should just be left like a bad nightmare.

    Heard on the news about the blasts. Hope all is well with you. The time on this post is 7:35 PM, so I'm guessing all is well with you.

    But please do confirm.

  2. Thanks TBG. Im fine...dont know for how long though!
    I was happily sitting in Cafe Coffee Day, sipping my Frappe and writing this post, when the TV volume there went up and we heard the news...I was shaken! how how terrible. that place wouldnt be far away. I drove back home with my hands shaking on the steering wheel!
    Just 2 days back we were there in the evening...Gosh! its just too sad and shocking!

    Thanks for checking.

  3. One must not live in the past.
    Pune must be tense??

  4. Yes, pune is tense..only natural after such a thing just doesn't think something would happen to us...but who is next nobody knows...
    very sad and scary. Pray for peace

  5. You have echoed my thoughts. I really am against holding any relationships with Exs. Its just not worth it. But I know of a few friends who have done that and had serious issues with their current partners. I think its just reigniting an old flame. Doesn't help anyone.

  6. Yes, true not worth it...but some people take long to realize how potentially deadly this could be. 'reigniting an old flame' is the phrase I was looking for all this while!! Thanks